Last night, after putting her to bed, my husband and I were downstairs watching TV. You could hear her yelling and it sounded awfully loud but realized it was because she had her window open. I went upstairs to explain to her that it was too cold to keep the window open and the neighborhood probably wouldn't appreciate her yelling out her window. She proceeded to tell me that she had to open her windows at night because she has to talk to God to tell him to bring her a baby brother or sister. My heart sank and I honestly tried my hardest not to cry. She also often asks me why all her cousins have brothers or sisters and she doesn't.
|Our daughter at 7 months|
Here is the dilemma of a situation you can't possibly explain to a five year old. First of all, I'm not about to explain the birds and bees to a five year old. Secondly, a five year old cannot possibly understand the meaning or explanation of infertility. It is honestly a miracle she is even here and if not for a gut feeling of my old Dr. to NOT do a procedure on me 6 years ago she wouldn't even be here (not knowing yet that I was pregnant with her and by the way--that dr. is our angel). There is also no way a 5 year old can comprehend that mommy has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome-- a complicated web of hormone problems/insulin resistance/pain/cysts/weight gain etc. etc. So what do you say? You get thrown into one of those speechless moments, fumble with words and try to come up with something that is short and sweet.
My husband and I were told before we even got married that children might not be possible. Not just because of the PCOS but of previous pre-cancer cells that I had and the many procedures to get me well. In trying to avoid to much information, I do feel talking about it brings awareness to PCOS. The show "The Doctors" recently did a show about it and it was so great to see people talking about it. It's an everyday struggle that effects just about every minute of my life because every bite I put or don't put in my mouth effects it. If I miss a day of exercise the pain/lethargy comes back.
So questions that my daughter asks I have no answers for. I only tell her that she is a miracle and we get to give her all of mommy and daddy's love and attention. I know if she ends up being an only child that one day she will understand why.